Lorraine Jean Hopping • Hopping Fun Creations

Just a (Pirate) Joke


Artist Howard Pyle (1853-1911) created colorful images that dramatized and romanticized the life of a pirate.

Q. What's the bounty for capturing a pirate?
A. A buccaneer. (a buck an ear)

Q. Why is being a pirate so addictive?
A. As soon as you lose yer first hand, you get hooked.

Q. How can you tell a rookie pirate?
A. He counts by twos—two hands, two legs, two eyes . . .

Q. Why are philosophical pirates so smart?
A. They think, therefore they AAAAARRR.

Q. Why did the pirate walk into the bar?
A. Lack of depth perception. An eye patch makes it hard to tell where anything really is.

Q. Why don't pirates mind their P's and Q's?
A. They spend all their time at C.

Q. When does a pirate act like a bird?
A. When he's a-robbin'.

Q. What are pirate movies rated?
A. AAAARRR!

Recommendation


“Lorraine wrote fiction for Microzine, a Scholastic software product, that was funny, educational, and scientifically sound. Our interactive fiction was a new medium back then, and Lorri just "got it." She understood the capabilities and limitations of the machine and used it to the story's best advantage. All that insight, plus her professionalism in meeting deadlines and working with our editors. She was a delight to work with.”
—Amy Kefauver, former editorial director at Scholastic Software

Writing fiction is even more fun than reading it.

E-mail me

Choose Your Move Adventures!

Each book in this series has eight different endings. Readers (the "you" character in the books) choose their destiny by making decisions at key points in the plot.

In Adventures of a Crater Creature, you are the crater creature! When three loud explosions rock your world, do you and your crater mate, Rusty, dare to leave your cozy crater Home to investigate?

In The Stormy Voyage of Captain Reckless, you are the captain of the biggest ore ship on the Great Lakes. Can you lead your crew safely through the heart of a November gale, a deadly storm that can snap a mighty freighter in half?

In The Lost Pirates of Waylay Bay, you will meet a very cheeky parrot who lures you into a secret cove and a pirate adventure like no other. Who can you trust? And who's the real Captain Long Tooth?

These forthcoming titles will be published by Wireless Generation as part of a reading series for ages 7-9.

I'll post more about these fun fiction books soon! Stay tuned!

Related Links


Teachers and Librarians: You can learn more about the Burst Early Literacy Intervention reading program at Wireless Generation.

At Boat Nerd, you can explore and investigate the mighty lakers and other ships that roam the Great Lakes. The site features lots of great pictures, facts and figures, maritime history, contests for hitching a ride, and an interactive map for tracking the locations of the ships right now. Thank you, Boat Nerd, for helping me research The Stormy Voyage of Captain Reckless. I'm proud to be a Michigan native!

All the material on this website is copyright © 2000-2010 by Hopping Fun Creations unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to visitors to download, print, and use the "Freebie" reproducibles free of charge for educational use only. Reproduction, reposting, or distribution in any form or media is prohibited without the written permission of Hopping Fun Creations.

My Books and Games

Children's Books
Choose Your Move Adventures!
COMING LATER THIS YEAR: Adventures of a Crater Creature, The Stormy Voyage of Captain Reckless, and the Lost Pirates of Waylay Bay!
Chief Joseph: The Voice for Peace
COMING SEPT 2010, it's the sad, moving tale of the Nez Perce leader who lost his land, many of his people, and his life-long fight to keep the peace with settlers and soldiers. (Click for "Freebie" history puzzles.)
Bone Detective: The Story of Forensic Anthropologist Diane France
Is it possible to fall in love with bones? Try not to, after you read about Diane France's true-life science adventures, searching for and examining skeletons. A 2006 Outstanding Science Trade Book "Selector's Choice" (NSTA/CBC). Starred review in Booklist. 2007 Finalist, SB&F "Young Adult" science books!
Space Rocks: The Story of Planetary Geologist Adriana Ocampo
How did a young Argentine with an endless imagination make her dream of exploring space come true? Adriana Ocampo found her path to science adventure through space-traveling robots and crashing asteroids and comets! (Click for "Freebie" science quizzes.)
Crime Science
Autopsies/The Body as Evidence and Crime Scene Investigation!
Sports Hall of Fame
Venus and Serena, Peyton Manning, Michelle Kwan, and others for ages 6-9. (Click for "Freebie" sports quizzes.)
Today's Weather Is . . . A Book of Experiments
Outdoor fun for 6 to 9 year olds.
Wild Weather! Wild Earth!
Tornadoes! and Hurricanes! are my two best-selling books.
A NEW GAME!
Letter Perfect English
Coming soon, it's a must-have card game set for English language teachers and tutors. (Click for Freebies.)
Teacher's Books
Language Arts Games
Packed with ready–to-go, lively games and activities for teaching grammar, vocabulary, and dictionary skills. (Click for "Freebie" word search puzzles to download.)
25 Math Board Games!
This is my top seller for teachers. (Click for "Freebie" puzzles.)
Creative Approaches to Social Studies
15 Primary Source Activities: American History and American history games, both co-written by a middle school social studies teacher.
Game
Mars 2020
Race from Earth to Mars, an orbiting target, by fixing malfunctions and answering intriguing science questions. Or play the fast-paced, alternate version: a flat-out race, no questions asked.